There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
