Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i came on her dog
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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