So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
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