dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
