Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
