I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
