My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
