Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
