He had one of those small greek statue penises
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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