Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
