stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
