he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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