drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
