apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he puts the penis in happiness.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
