Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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