The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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