Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
