i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
only you would photoshop your dick
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
