We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i wish my penis had a tongue
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
not ubering you a puppy
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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