Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize