Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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