I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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