thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
