One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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