Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
