So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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