My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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