I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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