Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My vagina is very pro this idea
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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