I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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