Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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