I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
