stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize