3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
