I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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