When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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