the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize