Banned from zoo.
Again?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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