wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
