the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
