Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
