Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
