Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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