I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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