I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm at about main and main street
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
