i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
