can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
