it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
