I want to have your abortion
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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