He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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