my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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