My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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