My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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