he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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