pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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