the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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