It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Text me some of your sweat
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