he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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