Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
