she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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