Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
